#why do I always go too far
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I feel. Very stupid
#Why do I always do this#why do I always go too far#sorry#I’m sorry#It’s the first time in a while I messed up#I just#auughhh#I wish that I could get it#I wish that I knew where lines were#I promise I’m not insensitive or rude on purpose I just. Don’t get it#I think my soul is rotten perhaps /hj /ref#Now I just have this horrible horrible feeling in my chest#I know it goes away in time#But it still feels awful#is this another thing I’m going to be feeling guilty over forever?#My throat#it’s there too#I need to get. Less comfortable#I need to watch my words more#I need to just use my brain. It shouldn’t be that hard#but it is#and I don’t know why#I’m just a stupid kid#no matter how much time passes#or how much I think I’ve matured#I’m still just a stupid kid#it will probably happen again#And again and again#I don’t know why I’m posting this#jghhhhh
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pediatricians are hard to find.
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you aren't broken and other important things a triangle needs to hear
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#gravity falls#book of bill#non euclidean geometry au#bill cipher#pyramid steve#billford#parent au#rip doc mc buggins#you won't be missed#ableism#pyramid steve is too young to really understand what's going on here which is Good#ford would be here for the checkup but bill simply has more inter-dimensional contacts on his side#also far far FAR more medical trauma to work with#not that ford doesn't#but i think his problems were always rooted in more SOCIAL problems#while bill got the fun cocktail of childhood bullying AND medical abuse AND parents couldn't/wouldn't help him#he should not be a parent#he IS trying#he is trying so hard#he will not share these worries of course#why worry ford? bill's a GOD clearly he's got this#...bill is deep down terrified he ALREADY screwed up pyramid steve#he probably had more to do with him existing as the power half of the couple-#anything wrong IS probably his fault-#he doesn't know what he's doing! did?! how does his own body even work let alone-#whatif-what if he put him together wrong. what if whatifwhatif#thoughts he will never EVER say outloud#pyramid steve is a perfect little angle#anyone who says otherwise is dead wrong#my art
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,
BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,
IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!
FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!
#arcane#league of legends#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#doodles#hate and love how hardcore I relate to jinx…#little sisters w dependency issues.. + a whole lot of other issues#anyway the ‘he’ in the ‘crazy girl’ lyrics is in my mind referring to both vi and silco lol#I’m sORRY! I keep seeing ppl hardcore pitting these 2 bad bitches against each other#and it’s like… silco is objectively. morally worse than vi.. vi is not like. a ruthless crime lord#vi IS 100% trying her best and loves her sister. but she still screwed up w jinx#and silco ALSO truly loves jinx. but also screwed up by fucking. trauma bonding w her ghgh-#like.. silco is too close. he’s like. yes go apeshit jinx I support and love you and understand u no matter what fucked up shit u do.#were the same. and that’s beautiful!!! I love how supportive he is…#but its like.. silcos too close. he just became a new person for jinx to glomp onto and base her self esteem around after vi left#and he doesn’t manipulate that on purpose but. he DOES effect that girls mental state. cuz he needs her too#meanwhile vi is too far away… she thinks she knows who jinx is. but jinx has changed… time marches forward. she’s not that little girl#anymore#and nOW! after the finale jinx has NOBODY TO BE CODEPENDENT W..#her mental state has always been so tied up in how the ppl she puts on pedestals view her#and now there’s no pedestal anymore. she knocked down the statues. she’s alone…#it’s interesting….#anyway I’m not trying to say vi is as bad as silco at ALL. just that she’s an equally important building block in jinx’s mind#that has made her into the fucked up lil person she is today. and I think that’s neat.#lol anyway! I’m hyped for season 2….#aLSO GOD DAMN THIS GIRLS OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED. WHY DO U GOT SO MANY BITS N BOBS JINX??? I mean I get it accessories rock.#but u take so much time to draw ghfhg- require so much brainpower#aLSO ADDENDUM. while silco is objectively morally worse than vi his relationship w jinx is genuinely. like. makes me emotional ghgh-#its not perfect. or healthy. but… it’s. the both of them. being seen. and accepted. and loved and understood.. and I love that shit.
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Peryite is such an underrated daedric prince to me, conceptually. His sphere of influence has so much potential to explore. Like, disease and the natural order together? The way his followers see disease as a blessing? I love the implications there alone. He's the weakest prince, but his sphere has the potential to be so subtly destructive. One of his symbols, skeevers, represents that so well. The series has been kinda meh at exploring the princes philosophically but I feel like they are right on the cusp of something interesting with him, but since he isn't as flashy or obviously "bad" (or sexy) as the other ones he keeps getting put on the backburner. Gimme an interesting Peryite storyline pretty please. Explore things a little
#i saw a reddit comment saying that peryite/hircine/namira would be an interesting combo and i want it so so bad#like the 'natural order' trio. theyre all repulsive in some way but also sort of just a factor of life you cant fight against#i do not trust eso to do something interesting here though tbh. they use daedric princes a lot (too much) but it always just makes them#allies or bad guys and never really gets into their (or their followers) philosophy much#(from what ive seen so far)#mine#tes#the elder scrolls#peryite#relate him to the ecological role of disease or something idk#or if you want to go darker: population control or the way governments allow disease to affect those they want gone#actually get into the logic of why his followers follow him (although they rarely get into that for the other princes too so meh)
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“South Park is a satirical show that goes after everybody and at the end of the day is meant to make you laugh and not be taken seriously” and “south park jokes about sensitive topics that hit close to home for a lot of people and it’s absolutely valid to feel uncomfortable by some of it” are statements that should be able to co-exist tbh
#this is something I think a lot of people need to realize tbh lol#because I see so many people who take this show WAY too seriously#fans of the show a lot of the time to boot#and the things they choose to draw the line at are always so weird??#like why is every single other thing they make fun of in the show fine to you but the second they make fun of one particular topic it’s#going too far??#however I also think it’s important to remember that something being a joke doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not gonna be hurtful#esp since YEAH this show is very offensive and jokes about a lot of dark topics#and some of it CAN feel like a bit much or take things too far sometimes#I feel like it’s pretty normal to feel uncomfortable by it at least a bit??#like I’m one of this show’s number one defenders and there are still absolutely things that make me uncomfortable jokes or not#doesn’t mean I’m gonna go around throwing a fit over it but it doesn’t mean I have to like it either??#and I do think a lot of people have this mindset of you either have to love everything in this show or hate everything#which I think is kind of silly lol
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Y’all thinking about an older Ares has RUINED me
#hyrule warriors#hw link#kheprri rambling#fucked by the ‘perfect hero’ treatment and is a little hit jaded and scruffy and i am INSANE FOR IT#he does not cope well and i love that for him#obsessed with him. been thinking about him for a couple months now for my wargod au and yall i cannot stop#volga gets the treatment too but its slightly less noticeable coz hes a dragon#also sorry about there being nothing going on. every time i want to start on something i get hit by just utter pain and cant focus#so ive just been playing games and sleeping trying to get through it lol#but that also gave me a lot of thinking time for the aus. especially the main one (and this one obv)#also sorry if u dont vibe with the headcanon/au. hes far from being a dick or entitled hes just tired of being perfect for others—#—and just wants to live in peace with his dragon bf lmao#2024+ is the era of khep(me) forcing myself to draw facial hair because ive always been afraid of not doing it right#actually i love drawinf facial hair and all hair in general tbh im just horrified of people being like ‘lol ur wrong die’ XD#anyways sorry. rambling. too many brain thoughts not enough outlets for#will be posting the mistflier species sheet wip on kofi eventually i just wanna type the words out to make it more legible#it IS still a wip and thats why its gonna be going on kofi until its finished#<- and also coz its tailnrr related
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Jesus Christ I was just in my yard with my son and saw a MASSIVE eastern diamondback rattlesnake. Son of a bitch must have been 6-7 feet long and as wide as my fucking biceps. When I tell you I grabbed my son and booked it when it started rattling BRUH I almost shit myself
#I love snakes but only if they’re very far away or behind glass#I was probably 20 feet away when I saw it and I just fucking froze#then it started rattling and I RAN BITCH#it was just passing through the yard (stretched out) but Christ I’m not going back outside today#those bitches scare the fuck outta me#of all the endangered animals I could have seen it ended up being my biggest fear ;-;#and the way my son immediately knew something was wrong when I froze too#he was like ‘…. momma?’#and why do I only see venomous snakes#garder snake I’d have no issue but no it’s always copperheads or cottonmouths or a FUCKING DIAMONDBACK#anyway I got an awesome adrenaline rush out of that
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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happy birthday dust sans :3 ‼️🎊
"well, that's that. a grand execution, the perfect punishment for a sinner with lifetimes worth of crimes, and yet, nobody showed up, and dust didn't even try to fight back."
"heh. sounds pretty pathetic to me... but hey, maybe this was what he wanted."
"to die alone only accompanied by the ones he hated with nobody who he'd actually want to witness this?"
"maybe dying only with yourself would be less embarrassing than a public show. privacy is something you never realize you want until you lose it."
"... you were right, that does sound pathetic."
#happy birthday dust sans except he's not even in focus. in fact he is literally on his last day of birth#ANYWAYS LATE POST I KNOW BUT I MADE IT JUST IN TIME BEFORE THE 10TH ENDED IN MY TIMEZONE HEHEHE#triglycercule is officially back 😈😈😈 more murder time trio to come soon........TRUST🙏🙏🙏#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#tricule art#i tried to replicate kinda a style similar to calvateyla's it'll probably look more obvious as the year progresses :3#the theme for this year's trio birthdays? death XD! ok well like yeah but i have plans ok hehehe :3 be ready for a killer and horror death!#but that's over in may and august....... for now february for dust :3#see last minute i realized i forgot that monsters dust when they die so i added that in last minute 😁😁😁😁#hmmm hmmm can i explain my own piece or no 🤔🤔🤔 this is probably the most detailed thing ive drawn so far ever WOW#so there isnt really any context behind why dust is dead and the build up i just thought it would be cool#horror and killer hung him btw thats why there's 2 pulleys on the scarf and obviously why they're there... :3#dust is in the background blurred and not even in focus because like hrkl said: his death was pathetic and insignificant and lonely#dust's constant fight against the human and the internal conflict he has that causes him turmoil and outbursts seems loud and explosive#but really dust is just solemn and sad and quiet and suffering so i wanted to capture that... not a grand finale for him#as always my interpretation and take but i imagine dust initially struggled to not choke but then started seeing things the more air he los#and eventually he began listening to the insults and sobs of those he killed and gave up and allowed himself to die without even fighting#horror and killer can't see this of course because dust's hallucinations are in his own head (not like he can talk anyways LUL)#to dust his death was attended by too many of those he loved yet all telling him to give up#quite opposite to horror's idea that a solitary death is a comfortable one with no eyes to watch#killer is of course an extreme compared to dust and horror he doesn't care at all if people are there or not to witness the death#its irrelevant anyways :p he's just gonna die in the end so what matters dust's comfort if it all leads to the same outcome???#(keep in mind i've yet to do my killer analysis yet...... this is all advice and help my resident killer expert told me :3 soon though!!)#anyways!!! almost late but i made it just in time hehe!! god its been so long since i properly drew on digital its funnn!!!!#also the hanging via papyrus's scarf is a classic idea honestly B) its the best way for dust to go out imo........
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making a fankid but shaking my head the entire time so people know i'm against the societal belief that everyone's goal and only purpose in life should be to have kids and form a family
#i snapped and made a rock kandi fankid#she was meant to be a one off design to cheer me up and give me something to do#but i made her too cute. now im attached#her name is lacey :) princess lacey at that#idk what im going to do to be able to fit her in my thing. rock kandi or just a kirby kid in general was Never meant to be a thing#that guy's an adult in my oc timeline. and he does fuck all all day as he always has. it's a part of his bit that he's not anyone important#outside of being the hero of popstar of course. he's not a knight or a king/prince. he's not even an adventurer. he likes his planet#and wouldn't want to be too far from it so the idea of being an explorer doesn't appeal to him.#at the end of every adventure he always returns to popstar because popstar's his home#he likes just being a normal guy who just saves the world from time to time. he likes fishing and eating and sleeping#and making friends and juggling children. it's just what he does all day. he loves it.#he's always been happy with simplicity and living in the moment no matter how boring that moment is#and i fear that this would accidentally lent itself to a like. kind of a deadbeat dad?? or take away too much of his carefree bum-ness#technically this is ribbon's and fluff's spawn since kirby can't have kids. so maybe i'll just make the world's first kirbyless rock kandi#whatever you'd call that. Fluffbon?#they all live in different places so i always figured it'd be kind of impossible for it too work out in the long run??#or it wouldn't be That serious. not serious enough for a lacey#which is why i didn't make it canon to my AU and shit and only enjoy it at a distance slash in like a vacuum#so I don't knowww i don't knowww but i'll figure it out i guess#text post
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one time eva told me that inigo was basically just a total drama character and i cant like that kinda hit me like a slap in the face but like in a good way because like. she was right. and that was several months ago but the concept was so good i sometimes just come back to it and now i have a question for the class
no i dont think inigo (or anyone else i excluded) would win but if you have a case for him im open
#fe13#polls#i think severa could do it but she’d have to pull a heather#where she starts off bad and goes through forced character development#i think yarne could pull off a flying under the radar kind of win#where him being a scaredy cat is just kinda like. ‘well hes definitely not gonna make it’ and then he does#but then like i feel like they could be fucked up and try to feed him rabbit or something and he would have to leave so 50/50#i dont think inigo would win i really dont#but i think he could go far#unfortunately i think he’d actually be good at the game but then. well. target#i think the same thing goes for kjelle which is why shes not here#but i guess theres always the possibility she just wins every challenge so it doesnt matter#i also just didnt want to write all 13 options it splits the vote too much#i think owain would be funny but i think hes also either 100% winning or the first one voted out#bc god… SHUT UP#how many of u guys have actually watched td#i feel like it was so popular but when i ask ppl around me theyre like What are u talking about#LIKE WHAT DID YALL WATCH AS KIDS HELLO….
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i don’t think people give ciel nearly enough credit when it comes to his emotional intelligence/how self-aware he is.
like, yeah— ciel is a brat, he’s a stuck up little privileged rich kid, he’s pampered and spoiled and struggles massively when he’s forced to live without the luxuries he’s always grown up with. but he also recognizes that, in a way that is actually quite mature for someone of his age and class. he’s cynical, he’s pessimistic, he has incredible little (if any) respect or hope for humanity left— but this is something he applies to himself and the others at his same social standing just as much as anyone else, if not more. he clearly connects and empathizes with finny (and honestly all of his servants) because he sees himself within him, trusting him like a (his) brother during the emerald witch arc. he understands where joker is coming from with regards to his desperation to take care of his family and doesn’t pass judgement on him, to the point of even planning to take care of the very family he thought he’d left behind after joker dies. he even seems to have some degree of genuine respect for lizzie, assuaging her insecurities by trying to see her for who she is and not who she wants to be or feels like she must be.
honestly, i think that in most of the cases where ciel is being a full on Brat™ it all goes back to one thing— ciel trying to asset his Power, and take back control over the situation.
ciel is a character who is very very very easily underestimated at first glance by most people who have just met him, and even a few people who know him longer than that. he’s literally a sickly victorian child with asthma and CPTSD-motivated panic attacks, the kid is frail as fuck, not to mention— a kid. the fact that ciel might have something of an inferiority complex is obvious enough even if you don’t bring the whole lesser-twin thing into it, his minute stature is something literally every fucking character brings up upon first meeting him.
sometimes, ciel can use this to his advantage, so he does. he puts on the cute little boy face and flutters his eyelashes and uses other peoples’ empathy against them to achieve his own goals (see: arthur, and also like the entire public school arc, etc.).
most of the time though, ciel doesn’t really want to do this, not only because it’s somewhat demeaning but also because he Does have a reputation to uphold. ciel needs to constantly be both on guard and on the attack for his job as the queen’s watchdog, he is basically obligated to constantly stand as the biggest threat in the underworld. much of ciel’s Brat behavior to other people comes down to this— him asserting his status, not really out of any pride for the title, but because he is a Threat and other people need to fucking know it. sometimes, this means shoving his (and sebastian’s) power in their face until they get the fucking picture and/or die trying to understand it, particularly in the case of more asshole-ish characters like all the random evil businessmen with criminal agendas that ciel puts through the evil haunted demon house schtick. other times, this manifests more in the form of a kind of genuine empathy— you Should get the fuck away if you actually care about the things you claim to care about cuz i will not hold back, etc.
speaking of— in the case of sebastian specifically, the fact that this is ciel’s desire to take back agency becomes even more clear.
sebastian and ciel’s dynamic is one of, if not the most compelling aspects of this series to me, in large part because of how goddamn codependent they are while simultaneously being inherently at odds with one another. this series Will end with sebastian eating ciel’s goddamned soul— i honestly think that even if the rest of the cast eventually becomes more aware of the specifics of sebastian’s demonic nature or their contract, ciel himself will stop them from trying to save him or break the deal somehow, and sebastian himself certainly doesn’t have nearly enough of an attachment to humanity as a whole to bother actually stopping himself from chowing down, even if he may regret it somewhat more than he expected afterwards. yet at the same time, right up until we reach that exact point, they have every reason to need and want to collaborate with each other— something that they do, even if it is with full knowledge of the exact sword hanging over their heads the entire time that they’re playing nice.
i really love the analysis from this post, which points out the fact that all of the three core rules ciel establishes for their contract are perfectly designed to turn sebastian into someone that ciel can trust. highly recommend reading that essay, but to elaborate a bit more in my own words— ciel knows that sebastian is going to eat him one day. he is incredibly physically fragile and aware of this, perhaps even aware of the ways in which he has been made mentally weak due to his traumas, and especially of the fact that he is vulnerable specifically in comparison to sebastian. every single time that sebastian saves ciel, it is another reminder that This is who ciel is going to die to. he is chained to this starving, rabid monster just as much as the monster is chained to him, and one day, those roles are going to flip. he’s not going to be in power forever, and he knows it.
therefore: when ciel is a Brat™ at sebastian specifically, i read this less as ciel actually being unaware/childish/stupid/etc., and more as ciel tugging on the proverbial chain to make sure he is still the one pulling the strings. ciel has a habit of emphasizing the fact that he is Ordering sebastian when he is in a stressful situation or panicking for any given reason, focusing on the language that he Knows sebastian will respond to. and it’s a trauma response. IT’S A TRAUMA RESPONSE!!
what i think ciel Hates, above all else, maybe even more than he cares to consciously admit, is not having power. he can’t stand to not be the one in full control of a situation. he can’t stand having his agency taken from him, not after Everything that he’s been through.
if there’s one thing that watching his entire family be killed while also being viciously abused by a cult taught (not) ciel, it is the feeling of having No power. he was helpless to stop his parents’ murders, he was helpless to stop the cult from violating and abusing him, he was helpless to stop his own brother’s death. ciel connects more easily and often more deeply on an emotional level with the lower class characters in the story because he knows what it feels like to be completely powerless in the face of the absolute worst of humanity. thus, when ciel acts like a Brat, when he asserts his title as an Earl, someone Respectable, or as The Queen’s Watchdog, someone Threatening, when he demands that everyone bend over backwards to serve his will— it is ciel taking back all the power that he can and gripping it as tightly as he possibly fucking can, because he knows what can and will happen if/when he lets it all go.
and there is no character for which this is more true than sebastian. one of the most powerful entities in the series, easily the one closest to ciel, who he depends on so incredibly— but who is also Destined and Required to bring his end once all this is over. ciel kicks sebastian around, treats him like shit and shows him rare moments of kindness and care, all for the affirmation that He is still in control. absolutely nobody can ever meaningfully hurt ciel again, so long as sebastian is there— and sebastian won’t hurt him either. not yet. but, instinctively, he needs to keep testing that bond. just in case. just to be sure.
honestly, i think that’s where the real tragedy of the series comes from— ciel never really grows, never really changes, because he Can’t. he guaranteed that for himself. at his absolute lowest point, ciel lost all faith in humanity and god and Himself. he lost his childhood naïveté, and the ability to believe in goodness in any form. ciel knows that one day, he’s going to be hurt again, that someone is going to snatch him up and chew him alive— all he wants now is the control to dictate for himself when that inevitable end will happen.
#astronaut rambles#kuroshits#ciel phantomhive#black butler#kuroshitsuji#HE GAVE UP FROM THE BEGINNING!!! 🎉🎉#honestly. the fact that so many of the recent arcs have revolved around#1. two of ciel’s biggest most vocal and richest Supporters turning their backs on him and/or actively hating him (lizzie + soma)#and 2. ciel’s acceptance of the finality of death being so Brutally tested#really makes all of this interesting too#i think ciel tries to shy away from human connection cuz he knows that he can’t ever truly control people#(and also cuz they’re the biggest source of potential pain maybe? humans are cruel etc. etc.)#but. i mean it’s funny ofc he ends up having incredibly deep personal connections regardless of that#sigh. oh my dear hateful son#even gave up your own name for all of this shit. you never really respected yourself huh 😔#anyways. wrote all this at 2-3am#the yapplestorms ‘writing more the more tired i am’ habit strikes again#long post#also: nobody asked. but#this is why i don’t think sebastian pressuring ciel into sex is all that realistic to canon#if anything it’d be like. ciel pressuring himself into it even when it makes him incredibly uncomfortable lmfao#sebastian might tease but as time goes on the limits of how far he’s willing to go become more clear#at the very least he still wants ciel to be entertaining and breaking him mentally kinda goes against that#note that sebastian does the same kind of testing when it comes to making sure ciel is keeping up his end of the contract#he pokes at ciel’s motivations when he’s at one of his most vulnerable points to make sure the dedication to revenge is still Pure n Steady#fuck. they really do match each other’s freak to an insane degree huh LOL#could also write more about the parallels between how current ciel is codependent w/ his brother vs. sebastian but eh. another time#tl;dr there's a reason why he takes the name Ciel and always asserts Ciel's power (hint: he doesnt respect himself!! screaming at the choir#sebaciel#eh yeah might as well tag that too
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I need more fanfics where Annabeth is tall but still lets Percy take care of her💔
#why the tall Annabeth erasure#tall girls deserve it too#bc all of the ones I’ve read so far were of her being the ‘masculine’ one#which is fine but like you HAD to state that she’s tall and correlate the two of those traits#and not to be overly sensitive but I’ve been insecure about my height since forever bc I always felt less feminine then the short girls#so whenever I see fics where Annabeth is described as ‘petite and feminine to Percy’s tall masculine’ it makes me die a little inside#u less you’re just describing Leah#she is short that’s just a fact#but when you’re specifically using book Annabeth and then go out of your way to describe her ‘slim and short figure’#and then relate that to her femininity…#it’s fine it really is I’m just insecure so I’m gonna shut up now#and probably delete this post in a little while#this is just a moment of weakness#bc whenever I do find fics where Annabeth is talk—not even taller than Percy just tall— she takes on the more ‘tough’ role compared to when-#she’s described as short#and that kinda hurt a bit bc us tall girls deserve to be taken care of too#😭#just a thought#annabeth chase#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#tall annabeth chase#hoo#heroes of olympus#percabeth
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thank yoy for drawing erik so big . He is a big man. HUGE EVEN. thank you.
Big man……….. i love me big man…..
#snap chats#i LOVE drawing big mfers and i hate that i have a core memory of when this all started for me#i had no chance it all started when i was a wee lad i knew id be doomed to lovin drawin big men djznKNs#its all the shapes… round… and the occasional squish yk…#also just. Big. i like big. bigger the better etc etc#i have a problem i am SICK#soeaking of problems Dilema what do i eat#my fam did just make adobo… my moms friends adobo so thats how you know its ESPECIALLY delicious#ong wait i was so caught up in the euphoria of meat i forgot the My Month Cant Get Worse news skOWNSSJ#SO I HAD A DOCS APPOINTMENT FOR MY MEDICINE AND LITERALLY LIKE. BEFORE I HEAD TO THE STATION#MY DADS LIKE ‘son our insurance isnt eligible anymore’ WHAT DO YOU /MEAN/#on a lighter note we were talkin bout when we’d go to the doc#and my dad was like ‘no gothic looks today’ abd i was like ‘lol fair’ and i made a joke about Being Normal Now#TELL ME WHY THIS MAN IMMEDIATRLY CALLS AFTER AND IS LIKE ‘my son im sorry you know i love your fashion :( youre always normal to me-#i didnt mean to offend’ LIKE DAD I WAS JOKING /ENOUGH/. ACTUALLY too fuckin silly and it says a lot#my dad always says Dont Say Sorry Unless You Have Something To Apologize For so the fact he /called/ a sec later#instead of leaving a quick apology or something. i do not apologize for dedicating half these tags to my dad#he is far too funny djOWDJSJEK BUT ANYWAY im gonna go eat ig idk#i have an online assignment due tonight but its a grouo assignment but no ones reached out despite me attempting to get ahold of them all 🫠#fingers crossed things turnaround idk… i hate online classes.. ok byebfiODJSJ
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the intro of 360 by charli xcx playing in my head like a Pavlovian edit-fueled response whenever I read a comment on a gaming video that’s like “dan is such a brat”
#do i think they get on each others nerves sometimes? yeah#the phanniversary newlyweds video was one of the most fascinating insights we’ve gotten into their relationship dynamic as a whole#but despite the fact that humans have complex emotions and it’s very easy to get annoyed at someone you love esp when playing a game#or overstepping banter#i literally cannot think of a single time in a gaming video or on camera in general where it’s gone too far or they are actually bothered#by the way the other is acting/playing#obviously bc why would they show that but#other than in suuuper old videos(one in particular) with young energy and emotions bouncing around#they’re also always one step ahead of the game with the multiple times they’ve been like#oh before the comments go dans such a sore loser/winner phil always suggests all of nothing or x or y#it’s all banter people#i don’t know what point im trying to make here but they are really good communicators and have just spent such an incomparable amount#of time together#im always fascinated and choked up by the moments that they make it so clear they’re literally always going to choose each other#ANYWAYS.#yapping in the tags#dnp#dan and phil#phan
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